T84 (or is that a calculator)
so my roommate often talks in his sleep
normally it’s just things in spanish, or gibberish, or fragments of sentences
but tonight his true colors came out and i hear him say excitedly
"Yeah guys, and now it’s time to Bedazzle everything.”
the drugs from my wisdom teeth removal have worn off
and i looked back on my twitter from this morning
"they took my teeths and didnt even say mazel tov"
tips to write college papers
- begin with “buckle your seatbelts, motherfuckers, because in eight short pages i am going to learn u a thing that i only learned myself about two hours ago, so sit down, shut up, and enjoy the experience of my 4-am-redbull-induced-self-hatred-fuelled-writing-extravaganza”
- erase when finished with the paper
BUT THIS ACTUALLY WORKS
MAKE SURE YOU ERASE IT THOUGH
"How much money does college cost in America?"
when you want to have a conversation with someone but theres nothing to talk about